FUCK.THE.FLU. Fuck the Flu with an AIDS dick. I don't get the Flu every year like some folks, but when I do, good lawd does it suck up a storm. That shit sucks something fierce. I am just this hour getting over a 5 day doozy of a fever. There was no nausea or upchucking so I dodged a stomach acid soaked bullet on this occasion. But just the thought that there was any chance of any intestinal refunding made me want to throw up...I was so scared of throwing up that I wanted to throw up...cosmic huh? This all brings back memories of the last time I had the Flu. By the sweet balls of Stan Lee, that shit hit me with the strength of 6 retarded Thor's. The fever, the aches, the chills...they all felt double shitty but paled in comparison to the feeling of vomiting, especially in this instance. Those symptoms weren't even in the same league this time around. The thing about it is that I only threw up once...JUST ONCE. But it was so intense that I shouldve very well been turned inside out by its raw power. I felt this stew brewing in my food box and I galloped to the bathroom and before I could even pick where i wanted to barf I unleashed a 2 foot wide beam of puke that knocked EVERYTHING off of the sink. Every citizen on that sink was fucking vaporized. Let me put it in perspective for you. Its like if Cyclops was the same old mutant we loved, but instead of shooting ruby colored beams of concussive force, he shot hot steamy gut sauce. Oh and also this is pissed off Cyke with Jean in mortal danger and hes wasting niggas no-visor style. No fucking joke. I was so drained from that omega level display of mutant power that I just said fuck it and promised to clean it after i rested up. If I could actually catch the Flu on the street in some surreal encounter I would beat the fuck out of it...but knowing how bad that shit sucks, it would probably whip my ass with the efficiency of a young steven seagal with a pillow case and a cue ball. Word to Pepto.
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